My choice, a somewhat gloomy thought

There's a moment when I look at what I'm doing and I'm frightened. I'm frightened because I fear that the choices I make may somehow be wrong. I've always been afraid of making mistakes, my ex-girlfriend (two / three years ago) told me that she has always noticed this huge flaw in me: I don't act for fear of making mistakes.
Only now I realize that she was right. I'm afraid of making mistakes. Whenever I make a choice I'm afraid I have made the wrong choice and therefore I'm always doubtful, sometimes slightly paranoid, and this disturbs me.
I'm writing this blognovel. What if it was a mistake? What if I give up and focus more on studying?
I like studying philosophy at university, of course, but I can't deny to myself that I've aspirations that distance themselves from philosophy.
I like to write, but I don't like to write about philosophy, I like to tell my stories and make them known to the world. I've been writing since I was little, I've been creating stories since I was little, but maybe ... maybe I'm doing everything wrong.
Maybe I should step back and leave it all behind. But then there's that voice ... that voice that tempts me. Every time I study and concentrate I hear a voice (it's a thought) that pushes me to create something new. Today, while studying Wittgenstein, I started thinking about a story about a man imprisoned in a room and forced to communicate via email with someone else. He does not know who's writing: a person or a machine? And then there's a whole story that unfolds and that must reveal the mystery, the enigma.
That voice is a temptress. It causes me to leave everything behind and simply create something new, to use this fantasy that I have in my head and that seems to be about to explode.

But then ...

There is the real world and that's an asshole. The real world is about money, not dreams, but dreams that make money; the real world doesn't encourage you to follow your dreams but to follow what makes you survive; we have to sacrifice our dreams for money instead of our life for dreams.
So what's the moral of the story?
Alan Watts would say:
 
"Much better to have a short but happy life than a long but miserable life."
 
True. But everyone is free to choose what kind of life to have and this is also right. I personally think this:
We have one life, one bullet in this rifle, one shot. If you waste that single shot, it's over. There is nothing after. It's over. So in this one life, what's better? To follow yourself or to follow others?
 
I have already made my choice.